


pathos

by snowdrops



Series: writing with snowdrops (dgm) [5]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: DGM Hallow Countdown, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7369180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowdrops/pseuds/snowdrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neah faces a revelation.</p><p>
  <i>This story uses the theory of past!Allen = past!Bookman Jr.</i>
</p><p>Written with the Day 6 prompt, "Emotions" for the DGM Hallow Countdown on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pathos

 

Neah is tracing lazy circles on Allen’s back, the beat of the other’s heart a steady rhythm thrumming through their entwined forms.

It’s been going on some time now, this thing of theirs. Neither of them have bothered putting a name to it, and Neah thinks it’s better that way. No labels, no definition. He’s sure that Bookman knows about it, but Allen hasn’t said anything and Neah doesn’t want to press. 

He is therefore surprised when Allen looks up at him, his expression unreadable despite the fact that he’s not wearing his glasses.

“Is there something on my face,” he murmurs, confused.

Allen’s lips curve up into a small smile (Neah isn’t persuaded at all) and he wriggles a bit so that the full weight of Neah’s palm is against his back. He turns his head slightly downwards, curling up under Neah’s chin and looking anywhere but at Neah. He doesn’t say anything (they don’t talk about a lot of things, Neah thinks distantly).

“Yeah,” Allen whispers a while later when Neah’s eyelids are starting to grow heavy. “Neah, I…”

Neah cracks a golden eye open to look at him. Allen visibly struggles to place his words, his forehead creasing. This is so unlike the Bookman successor that Neah actually feels the tendrils of apprehension creep up in his heart. Is Allen going to leave – he’d always known that the Bookmen were here only for a while, but – should he – if Allen leaves then what –

“Don’t die,” Allen says at last, his tone almost pleading, as he finally looks back up at Neah; the depths of his eyes are swirling with actual fear. “Please, Neah, I.”

Oh. So this is about that. He looks at the large scar that is still healing on Allen’s right bicep, a souvenir from their latest battle where they’d almost lost Wisely, one of Allen’s closer friends, and he understands.

“It takes more than Innocence to kill me,” he says, but in his heart he worries a little too. Not about his survival – he’s _Neah D. Campbell_ , he’d find a way to come back from the dead if he died before he meant to – but for Allen. He can tell that with those five words, the other is slipping (has slipped) far beyond his role of impartiality, falling prey to the lure of emotions.

And he knows that the Bookmen will leave, if Allen loses sight of what he is.

If Neah were to be honest with himself, he doesn’t think he can live with that.

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing Neah and Allen. Quick and short story, but I hope it brought across the themes I wanted to explore.
> 
> Do leave a comment or a kudos, and thank you for reading!


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